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Biking helped USA Paralympian Freddie De Los Santos with PTSD, and now he sees his incapacity as a blessing


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Editor’s notice: The next story consists of mentions of suicidal ideas. If you happen to or anybody you realize is battling suicidal ideas, the Nationwide Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 and the Veterans Disaster Line is 1-800-273-8255 (press 1), and you may textual content HELLO to 741741 to achieve the Disaster Textual content Line. 

When somebody first advised doing a marathon to Freddie De Los Santos, he thought they had been making enjoyable of him.

De Los Santos, now 51, was being handled at a army hospital following a rocket assault whereas he was serving in Afghanistan in 2009. As a consequence of his accidents, surgeons needed to amputate his proper leg above the knee.

What De Los Santos didn’t know on the time was they had been severe and that he might do it with a handcycle. It was the beginning of a brand new journey from the Dominican Republic-born rider that may lead him to change into a part of Crew USA’s Paralympic squad in Tokyo.

“I signed as much as do the marathon with a handcycle and it took me like three hours,” De Los Santos informed VeloNews from the Crew USA lodge in Japan. “After the marathon, I couldn’t transfer for 2 weeks and I used to be like, I’ll by no means do this once more. However guess what occurred? The following 12 months I signed up for the Boston Marathon and that’s after I realized, wow, I simply did a marathon and that’s fairly spectacular.”

After that first race, De Los Santos had caught the biking bug and he took half in a number of occasions organized for service members. He additionally began driving socially and was finally persuaded to compete in a rising variety of occasions.

“I used to be getting sooner and so I began doing like nationwide and native races. And it began to be a part of my rehab after which it turned a ardour. After which that zeal turned a lifestyle. That journey, that zeal turned out to be knowledgeable profession. It’s bizarre,” he laughed.

In addition to serving to him bodily get better, taking on biking has aided De Los Santos mentally as effectively. Being “blown up” in Afghanistan and shedding a limb has had a long-lasting influence on him, as has the lack of a number of of his buddies and comrades throughout fight excursions in Afghanistan and Iraq.

When he returned to America for therapy following the incident, he needed to cope with a variety of ache and trauma. Biking has been a manner of processing that and turning into an energetic member of his group in Hopewell Junction, New York.

It has additionally allowed him to see his incapacity not as a limitation however as one thing good.

“Biking has change into my coping mechanism to cope with my anxiousness, my PTSD. So, that sense, it has given me a brand new lifestyle,” De Los Santos mentioned. “It has been essentially the most rewarding expertise to have the ability to compete at this degree, regardless of my incapacity.

“Once I obtained wounded, I used to be very suicidal. I used to be in a hospital for 2 years and I just about needed to learn to speak, the way to stroll, and achieve self-confidence. So, I had a variety of issues as a result of I remoted myself from everyone, I used to be very aggressive. I used to be taking a variety of remedy.

“Twelve years in the past, I used to be going by way of the worst time of my life and now I can say that my incapacity has been a blessing. It sounds humorous, however to me, it has been a blessing as a result of I’ve a distinct perspective about life. I’m nearer to God, I’ve a greater relationship with my household, and I’m in one of the best form of my life. Biking has helped me to include myself in society in very optimistic methods, socially, mentally, and bodily.”

Turning into an artist and going for gold

Freddie De Los Santos competing at the Invictus Games in 2014
Freddie De Los Santos competing on the Invictus Video games in 2014 (Photograph: Jordan Mansfield/Getty Photographs for Invictus Video games)

Biking is just not the one exercise that De Los Santos has used to maneuver on from essentially the most tough interval of his life. Throughout his restoration, he additionally picked up portray and images after somebody from the Veterans Affiliation advised he participate in artwork remedy.

De Los Santos has at all times had a creative aspect as he educated and labored as a graphic designer earlier than becoming a member of the army, however he didn’t need to do it. He needed to be satisfied to take a category nevertheless it has change into one other ardour of his and he has used it as a manner of exhibiting his family and friends a number of the emotions he has struggled to say out loud.

“One way or the other they satisfied me as a result of I didn’t need to go,” De Los Santos informed VeloNews. “I used to be very suicidal, and I tried suicide just a few instances, so the artwork remedy was going to be good for me.

“I didn’t need to inform my household what I used to be going by way of. I felt like I’ve a demon inside me and I couldn’t eliminate that demon and I couldn’t speak to my household and my children and my group. I wished them to know, however I used to be afraid to allow them to know, verbally. So, my portray turned a manner for me to specific myself. The extra I used to be portray, the higher I used to be feeling.

“I used to be in a position to put all my nightmares, my perception, my frustration, all the things I went by way of after I was in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

As time has moved on, De Los Santos’ work have modified of their content material. There may be nonetheless some ache, however different themes are creating. By means of it, his household has been in a position to perceive what he has been feeling, too.

De Los Santos’ household is an enormous a part of his life and has performed an enormous function in his new profession as knowledgeable athlete.

“They’re so excited,” De Los Santos mentioned. “My spouse is my greatest coach. My son is 22, my daughter is 26 and they’re so happy with me. They are saying “dad, you’re superb”. I don’t see myself like that, however they’re at all times pampering me. They’re at all times preventing to take me to the airport, additionally they look out for me. My son works at a motorbike store, the place they repair my bike. So, he’s at all times on high of my gear, ensuring all the things’s good.”

The Tokyo Video games are De Los Santos’ second Paralympics after he made his debut on the Rio Paralympics in 2016.

In Brazil, he took fourth within the street race and seventh within the time trial within the H5 class, however he has gained much more expertise since then and he needs much more this time round. He shall be racing the identical occasions in Tokyo on Tuesday and Wednesday subsequent week.

“My goal is to win gold. I’ve been coaching actually exhausting for these races arising,” he mentioned. “My self-confidence is fairly excessive, and my gear has been upgraded. Bodily, mentally, I really feel unbelievable.

“Since Rio, I turned extra tactically higher when it comes to racing, I dropped like 25 kilos. So I’m fitter. I had so many World Cups, so I’ve a variety of expertise.”



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